There is something in the air. I don't know what it is, but change is coming. It is like the old women down the street that complains of her hands hurting when a storm is rolling in. That is how I feel, but my hands are not hurting. I feel uneasy inside, but excited at the same time. I get excited for change! It is funny to look back on, but when I hear that big things are about to happen, I can't help but smile. Then when we are in the heart of the change I start gripping and complaining. Why do I go from so excited to, "I am so miserable, why am I being put through this"? I feel some of that now. I feel nervous and excited all at the same time and I am afraid that in a few months I will be complaining about how unhappy I am.
I don't want to complain, I want to be a happy person. I want to be one of the women out there who you look at and they are always smiling. I hate wrinkles on my face, but if I must have them, let them be because I am a smiley person. I think overall, I am a happy person, but sometimes when I am driving down the street and I go to smile at someone who is looking at me, it seems so forced and I am not sure I really accomplished my task. What happened to me? I used to smile at everyone without fail. Do you think that is what happens to you when you become an adult or just a mom? I think being a mom is fun calling in life, but definitely has it hard times, so I could see that making it difficult to smile. Or maybe it is because I am tired and it takes energy to move your face. They say that it takes more muscles in you face to frown than it does to smile. But lets just ask this little question, what if I am not frowning, I am just blank? How many muscles does that take? Ha! Stumped ya did I?
I realize that the place I feel most happy and comfortable is at church. I am LDS. That is I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Some refer to us as the Mormons. I am very active and I would even go as far to say pro-active in my church. I love to be involved almost to a fault. I get worn out with all I end up doing. But it is so rewarding at the same time. Right now, I do Cub Scouts which is really fun and frustrating at the same time(because they are so active). I have a good group of 9 year old boys and it is great to teach them basic, fun skills of life. The other things I do at church are: I sub primary almost every week, I sing in the Choir, and I Visit Teach (which I love).
With all these things that I am involved in I have to stop and look at myself every so often to make sure my priorities are strait. Some may think that I give to much to the church, some may say I don't give enough. Some may say I am just not putting my time into the right things at all. But I can tell you I know that what I am doing is right. I have received a testimony of my works. I know that my God is first, then my wonderful family, then next is my church. I put my family before my church and I am careful that is how it all plays out. My husband and I work very hard so that our children are always with one of us and if I have to go places I try to have it when they are at school and I take the younger kids or when they are asleep. My husband and I work very well together. I love him so much!
As for my earlier topic of change. I do know of some change that may be coming into my life and others I do not know of. But it really doesn't matter what will be headed my way, because I will hold my head high and trust in my Lord. Through him all things will be accomplished!